Withdraw

Sunset...Here come's the darkness
There is something inside me that I cannot escape.
I wish I could kill it with a bullet but I'm too afraid.
I just want to be me again
My body and mind, an enemy.
No longer a friend
Can I kill whats inside and not have to ascend?

Chemicals burning my veins
I can stop but its unbearable
Without the pills there is pain
With out the drugs can I sustain?
Hollow I am, sad I am not
Indifferent I am, happy?
what is that? I forgot


Chemicals leaving my veins
pills down the drain
fuck the anxiety, fuck the depression, fuck the prozac
Im fighting for me, fighting for life, fighting my way back
this is life, taking a deep breath, future, love
sunrises... this is life... love

Twist

Look me straight in the eyes
Say you love me
But stay so far
smile and laugh
as you stab a knife into my heart
watch the blood trickle down
color leaves, white I am
holding on, pleading
why oh why


Trust I gave
betrayal received
knife in the heart
I'll never believe
I want you, I need you
twist the knife
body loses life
I still love you
dont leave
stay, please

the lessons you teach
I don't want to believe
keep twisting the knife
I dont believe
I still bleed
please don't leave

Short Story

what happens when you look to far into the future
only to get caught up in the past
what happens when all your hopes and dreams
come apart when she leaves you at last
you did nothing to deserve this
she just lost interest

when did our novel become a short story
tears fall from the readers who worry
pages ripped from the chapters
all the selfish hearts never get what they're after
this is all they see
and all they've known
they steal all the love and all the glory
and turn a novel into a short story

what happens when you are lost in the present
because you are dragged down by the past
unable to escape the demons of yesterday
chasing you endlessly
until you kneel down and obey
abandon all these indiscretions
break away from it all
and find an answer to all your questions

when did our novel become a short story
pages ripped from the chapters
tears fall from the readers who worry
and all the selfish hearts never get what they're after
this is all they see
and all they've known
they steal all the love and all the glory
and turn a novel into a short story

Shadow That Follows

The shadow that follows was twisting and well
The sun goes down and I'll stop pretending
That this is all a dream and
That any of you will know what it means…

All that we want is a common view
Cause this is killing me, it’s killing you
None of the signs point to cloud nine
Change is not given
Later than sooner you will find

I gave my soul coat to a tailor for your needs
And it came back too tight to breathe
And everything is all a parody
Just leave me alone, you’re a malady

Taking and breaking it all to dust
There is no more love, only the lust
Change? Where is the change?
Open space mind that believes the world is kind
Wait, I have something to tell you
I’m sorry you can’t listen, never mind
Turn to your left, no one by your side

Amazing act, magician of a sort
All locked up sinking, longing for air
Chained and shackled, you have your attention
I don’t believe it, I see the keys in your hand.
Enough of this sustained drained out pretension

Taking and breaking it all to dust
There is no more love, only the lust
Change? Where is the change?
Open space mind that believes the world is kind
Wait, you have something to tell me
You’re sorry you can’t hear me, never mind
Turn to my right, no one following my stride


Finally we arranged for an end
It’s the only thing we’ve collaborated on my friend
I’m sorry I couldn’t handle all of your lies
To hear them coming from your eyes
Change? Here is your change
You are sorry for all your lies
You think it will all heal in time
I know what you were doing
So sit down and cry cause I know you lied
If you ever read or listened to my life
I’m forgiving enough to give you an ellipsis
Always thinking one day you will be mine
Never again, period at the end of this life.

Scared to say.

In a cabin in the woods,
He stayed away
Coping with what he could,
He cried all day,
In such a lowly state,
He cursed each day.
That's all he had.

But the things he did were with his words,
And the word that he said was said to last,
And just one of these words that he said was love.
He will say that, never again.

I wanna know what do with this life.
I wanna know what it can be.
I've let it all out and had it thrown in my face.
And I wanna know how to leave this place.
I wanna know what to do with this life ,
I wanna know what it can be,
I've let it all out and had it thrown in my face,
And I need to know how to escape this place.



I wanna know what do with this life.
I wanna know what it can be.
I've let it all out and had it thrown in my face.
And I wanna know how to leave this place.
I wanna know what to do with this life ,
I wanna know what it can be,
I've let it all out and had it thrown in my face,
And I need to know how to escape this place.

The Gardener

Sun rises high
Earth is shaking
Eyes roll down, watch reads five
Morning time, See neighbors garden
Find a flower
Forbidden rose
Gardener won't let me know
Won't let me hold

Smell the aroma, admire
Can't get to the flower
From a distance, desire
Try to get the flower
Gardener steers me away with his eyes
I can't get to you
Gardener tells you lies

Sun lowers low
Night comes crashing down
Sneak into the garden after the last light turns in the home
Its the only time I can see the flower
The prize of the Gardener
My eyes want her
A shotgun blast, fright
Runaway, goodnight

I'm waiting for the day you leave the garden
You will be mine
Until then
The gardener will keep me away
Pushing me farther
Never can a man
Come between a father
And his daughter.

Stone Line

Nothing to hold
Nothing to say
Everything in her
Has turned to gray
No more nothing talk
Til midnight ending in trust
She must fix this, she must

Pain won't stop, it hurts, it hurts
Walking the stone line
Knowing it's all not fine
It's only a sign
It's a matter of time
Pain won't stop, she's numb, she's numb
Content with the dark
She walks the stone line
Knowing it's not far

Wearing black and thinking darker
Wiping the tears from her eyes
Wishing for the day she flies
Drop the soil and a flower
Shed a tear and head in sorrow
Walk the stone line, wait for tomorrow

Pain won't stop, it hurts, it hurts
Walking the stone line
She knows it's only a sign
And God knows it's only a matter of time
She won't stop, She's numb, She hurts
So ready for the dark
She walks the stone line
Away from this world
And into the light

Black dress on the bed
32 bullets and a bottle of Jack
Pillow under the tears
It's over now, nothing to fear
Eyes red, She screams
Out of this world and into the dream
It's only a dream...