Hide The Canvas

Empty Canvas
Lift the brush and draw
Stoke after stroke
Color fills in
Take the shape, take the look
Paint a masterpiece or paint the sin?
Tonight there is a choice
Be what is thought of the art
Be what it is
Is there a difference?

To say yes is to admit
Created by a fake artist
Painting pictures that will never be true
To get what it wants
What it is after
Leave the painting incomplete
Move on to the next
Everything it wants
But nothing it needs

To say no is to say
It's all an illusion
Interpretation astray
On exhibit for what it wants
And all it needs.
Painting is almost finished
The colors are beautiful

Make-up returned
Mirror shuts
She looks at her reflection
Clears her mind
She's ready to go
The painting is beautiful
But what is the canvas made of?

Once Again

As I lie in bed
My mind paints your portait
On my ceiling
Eye lids light
Sleep you're stealing
I try not dig
I try to be blind
Of what can be done
Always something I find
It takes my breathe
It takes my life
Turn off your phone
You've stolen tonight...

Will Never (1/2/2008)

Finish the maker's mark
Never could make it in the light
So i'll stay in the dark
with every drink
the tears fall faster
memories of you gather
when is it going to be taught
that i cant be left alone
with my thoughts

Actions by you
surround my soul
broken and bruised
I will never feel again
Memories of you
controlling my mind
screaming through
I will never dream again
Absence of you
Hollow in heart
Veins are dry
You're out of sight
I will never love again

Shadowed Gray

Clouds shadow you gray
Hiding the sun
She's ashamed
Of what was done
Beautiful home covered in snow
One open door
Greeting the cold
Mistake or better
Can't escape it's hold
And now she has to go

Clouds shadow us gray
There's nothing left to lose
Nothing we can say
You know the truth
It's written on your face
Written on the letters you left
Given up your family
Given up your friends
Who will you have
When the low road comes to an end?

Clouds shadow me gray
Hiding the sun
Ashamed, of what have I done?
Beautiful home covered in snow
One shut door
Behind my family
Behind my friends
Mistake or better
It's getting cold
Do I have somewhere to go?

Clouds shadow us gray
Do we see the hate?
Can we see the pain?
Compare or relate?
Is there more pain in leaving
Then there is in being left
Our hands stained with blood
Hearts ripped from our chests
For us there's never left

Better Not Have

have you found your new life
one without addictions and late nights
its too easy to give up, not even try
when your life has been labeled a lie
always looking over your shoulder
waiting for it to happen
can't dodge a shot from behind

You dont want others to know
where you are from?
better not have been there anyways
you dont want others to know
who you have loved?
better not of screwed them anyways
you dont want others to know
what you have done?
better not have done it anyways
better not have done it

wrong after wrong
night after night
you still have to learn
what it is to be right
learn from your mistakes
you can't make anymore
find out what this life is for

You dont want others to know
where you are from?
better not have been there anyways
you dont want others to know
who you have loved?
better not of screwed them anyways
you dont want others to know
what you have done?
better not have done it anyways
better not have done it
better not have done it

Beautiful Getaway (11/16/07)

You're so beautiful
Get away from me
I can't go on like this
Let you see me bleed
You're smile and persona
Great until you take away
Your morals and respect of self

The marks on your wrists says Pray for me
Pray for you I willRun away I must
Images of you in my mind
Chased away like wind moving dust

At your desire (6/20/07)

this is a scene i know all to well
when is it going to happen
time will only tell
ive seen these signs before
followed by a closing door
you say you want to be free
what happened to you
and your feelings for me

now you seem so distant
you never look at me
the pain you give is instant
just let me in on your secret
please dont make me seek it
you've known it from the start
you're getting closer
to finally breaking my heart

any pain you aquire
given to me at your desire
your problems become mine
i can be the one to cry
what did i do wrong
how can i make it better
you're always more than sad
all i do is make you mad
let me give you my light
so you can begin to shine
ill stay in the dark
and know that it's time

10/27/10 Quote

It's easier to see into the light from the dark than it is to see into the dark from the light...

Erased

The Autumn of trees fall to the grass
Oh how the seasons come and they pass
She's a lost soul writer and nothing to show
White picket fence and a porch table note
A declaration, a direction for her to go
A misinterpretation, no elation
He finds her in a different state
She lets him stay
But she's moving again, moving again. go

Another page ripped from the record books
Omitted from the story, No Second look
It isn't working now, it never worked then
She's writes everything she wants in ink
She plays him, thrown in the water, sink
She writes his story but drops the pen
Picks up a pencil and thinks of when
Never had a tear for him, only in another's bed
She needs to hide him, only deserving of lead.

Handled

Broken down lost his crown
What will become of him
Settle down lose the frown
Hatred bred by sin
Life hits him hard
But its never the last card
Dealt in the gamble
It kills him but
Less than he can handle

Look inside yourself for no one else, it's you
What once was lost is always found within, it's true
Rise up into the mirror, read the face
Break down what's left and rebuild in it's place

Rise up and show your smile
She lives with her lips
Make up, she's in denial
Different hands on the hips
She says they're all the same
Actions force them away, who's to blame?
Cry to a new silhouette
Change your mind? Never
See what you get

Look inside yourself, it's everyone but you
What once was lost can't be found in him, it's true
Rise up in the mirror, tears down your face
Is there anything left? Just another empty space.


Burning up, dry in the rain outside
He sees everything lost in the distance
For an instance she flashes in his eyes
To his surprise and her demise
Love is lost, He looks at the ground
A place to rebuild is found...

Kissing the Prince.

He's a frog thats been kissed with no luck.
You can kiss a prince but he may not be out to fuck.
When will you believe in reality?
At first glance your mind says this man's a threat.
The thought was killed by inquisitive thrills.
Now girl you've made your bed.

The hurt is so fresh in mind.
Fresh in mind.
A poor judgment, cold inside.
Cold inside.
The decisions been made.
Enjoy where you've laid.
Cause your regret will tear you from the inside. The inside.

I'd like to say I hate you.
I'd love to say I don't know you.
Now that your shadow's gone let me forget you.
Liquor fueled nights based on lifelong fights have a shortlived remedy with you.
Your problem's bred by low esteem and a random's lips taste so familiar.

The hurt is so fresh in mind.
Fresh in mind.
A poor judgement, cold inside.
Cold Inside.
The decisions been made.
Enjoy getting laid.
Cause your regret will kill you from the inside. The inside.

What will you do when you're dying inside?
Cause your infected with them and no cure in sight.

The life you picked was so selfish, you found.
Now look at me from the ground.
Beg. Cry. Fall Apart.
Plead for forgiveness like I want you to.
Beg. Cry. Fall Apart.
What's that? I can't hear you.
No longer fear you

The decision's been made.
Enjoy where you've laid.
He was once a great man but so easily damaged from inflicted pain.
You've soiled a life and planted your disease.
Live what you call a life.
Forever trapped and never freed.

Red Eyes

You told a lie to kill me inside
Are you happy now knowing that my heart has died?
You're now the red in my eyes
The disease in my life
The pain in my heart
I wish we could go back to the start
And never have begun

The songs that you sung
The lyrics you never followed
Abuse my depth, show your shallow

Thank you for the fake in my smile
The Agony in my scream
Happiness and me?
You're in between
It's all so hard to believe
That I ever let you in

Take the knife
Plunge it into my chest
Twist it, watch me bleed
Everything I've done for you
Everything you've seen
Is all out there on display
You didn't even turn around
You ran away
Goodbye

Fade

Eyes open, turn, there's you
Hand through your hair, across your cheek
Fingers run along your lips, there's you
I see the way the light shines through the window
Hit your features in such a way
I'm amazed, inspired
Want to be better for you
I smile, I go to touch your face one more time
Body to Shadow, Shadow to fade
Hand falls to the bed
You're gone, goodbye...

Wilt

Let me in
Let me go
What will we become?
Because of you we'll never know

I see you in front of me
Eyes closed, teeth of a smile
I break down my walls, while
You put up yours

Here I lay on the ground
Beaten in the heart
Beaten in the soul
What will we become?
We'll never know

What do you want from me?
I'll never know
Honesty fades with your eyes
Whatever is left
It Withers and dies...

Open Ended Ending

Open and ended
Closed and never begun
My eyes red and tearing
Your eyes closed, dry
The words you never say
Awaken my fears inside
I'm showing up so
Show me some thought
How do I bring it to light
It'll only spawn a fight
Live with it
Enjoy your indifference
It's only I that will hurt...

Low

I made a big mistake today
I told you that I cared for your time and space
Everyone said I should've walked away
I didn't listen
Now I'm broken, been replaced

In my mind
I am gone
There's only you
No more I, no more us
Only you and the pain you put me through
I shouldn't have to be this low

I made a big mistake today
I tried again looking for your heart and my place
You're a blank eyed, fake smiled deceiver
Still I can't listen when they tell me to leave her

In my mind
I am gone
No more I, no more us
Only you and the pain you put me through
I shouldn't have to be this low

Yeah

In my mind
I am gone
No more I, no more us
Only you and the pain you put me through
I shouldn't have to be this low

The pain you put me through

Is your smile true?
I shouldn't have to feel this low

Shattered

For so long I've been running away from the pain
So you decide to stop me
Turn me the other way
Because in this life
Happiness is only found in the middle of what you're afraid of
Can I live my life knowing you can take it away?
Yes I Can and soon you will too

I was starting to think I had fell in love
Falling hard and sinking, drowning cold
Steal the fear from my soul
Pretend to care
And leave the hole

Make me hollow
Nothing but a shell
For you to shatter
Get on with it...Break me... Get on with it
Break me
I know this is what you want
Break me
This was my plan all along
Break me so I can never be put back together
I'm screaming for you now
Shatter me now
Break me

My New House

I’ve decided it’s time for a change, So I went out and rented a house today. I brought all my stuff there, it’s a real nice place and everything is just the way I want it. There’s only one problem. The landlord didnt tell me that I would have a roommate.

Every time I’m home, He is home. Every time I leave, he follows. I can’t even look him in the eye, he is the exact opposite of everything I am, Everything I stand for. I wish he would just leave me alone, but I’m stuck with him. He better change soon or I don’t know what I’ll do.

Now that a couple months have passed, I figured by now it would be different. I thought that I would be able to live with this person or they would change and everything would be alright. Well nothing has changed, It even makes me sick the way he stares me down, judging and critiqueing everything I do. I can’t deal with this much longer. I need a change...

I guess it was a bad idea to live in a house of mirrors...

This Is Real

July Tenth
Tonight is my night of question
I wake up next to you
Reading your eyes, tasting your lips
Bodies touching, hands on your hips
Your voice wants to speak
Breathe, speak, wait
Three seconds of delay
Smile at the end of the wait
Lips meet, hearts ignite
Didn't have to wait for tonight

See my heart
See you're there?


I can't stop staring

Laughing with your humor
On to a grin and admire
Vivid smile on your face
Effortless Grace

Your figure makes my heart race
Our lips meet again, My heart is
Undoubtedly yours...