For You

I've been watching you for so long now
Pull me closer, Pull me in
Listen to all my secrets
Never judge, forget the sins
Guard is down, life is high
Build me up so
You can cut me from behind

Sell me out to be queen for a day
Use me for your wants
Leave for your needs
There's me and you
But everything in between
Have you seen your mistake
Yes you have, Yes you will
Rain drops soaking your mind
Drenching your soul
Come join me now
Now it's time to be cold

Cut that girl in the mirror
Bleeding wounds are hopes and dreams
Life with happiness, Life with me
They'll never come back
See them trickle down your fingertips
Into the red and out to sea
No more Regret
No more me

Moral Killed By Perception

Riding down the street today

Ive seen it again, saw the wrong way

Can we just go there, Can we just go?

Never mind the warnings

Forget what you’re told

They’ve got to me

Planted the seed

No, I wont let this happen

No


Take your open exhibition

Far away

Burn your closed inhibitions

Stay away

Take your low road and get high

Ill take the high road and rise

Ill be happy when you’re miserable

Looking down on you, pitiful

A moral killed by perception

We’ve all let our beliefs become right

Ignore the common belief

Out of focus, out of sight

Monday The 8th

Another night

Eyes wide open

You're still in sight

But miles away

Daylight breaks

Stealing the dark

Taking the pain

We are apart

You're in the rain

I'll stay here

Run. Live. Disapear

This is my family now

Smile. Wave. Take a bow

You've played everyone for a fool

Heaven And Hell

Get away from this place

spare us the lonely face

leave it behind and forget it

everyone takes a fall

once in a while

pick yourself back up

its all in bad luck

you want to leave your surroundings

but your scared, your heart keeps pounding


If you want to leave, you may

seperate from everything and drift away

all the pain, all the yelling

all the hurt and all the suffering

its all in the past

give it one look back

but make it your last



Are you going to leave the pain

or are you going to live in shame

cant you see theres a better life

all you have to do is get back your sight

of all your hopes and all your dreams

thats all you think about it seems

you cant get away

you cant be afraid

you'll never be well

until you find your heaven and leave this hell


If you want to leave, you may

leave everything and drift away

all the anger, all the screaming

all the rage and all the seething

its all in the past

give it one look back

but make it your last


Get well soon

oh wont you please get well

when are you going to find your heaven

when are you going to leave this hell

oh wont you please, get up from this place you fell

find your heaven and leave this hell

find your heaven and leave this hell

find your heaven and leave this hell

Prelude

An idea for another writing entered my brain driving home today, Not one of my usual short writings or poems, but an actual story. I'm still thinking about major plot points and I'm way too tired to grind out the first chapter. So I'll start with a prelude...

The grass is green and white fold out chairs are spread out across the field. The only aroma stronger than the grass clippings around me is the perfume of the girls seated adjacent to me. June 24th, graduation day. I thought it would never come.

Dressed in red. I hate the color but dealt with it because it meant my freedom. I love the place in which I am from but the feeling is not so mutual. I've had a cloud over my head for 2 years now. "John C. Adamcyk" the speakers call out the first name. "And we are off!" I think to myself as the names are being called out, and the crowd erupts with clapping and shouts of praise. Further and further down the list they go, coming closer to my name. Finally the speakers call " Levi M. Taite". I don't know if I am just nervous or I was going deaf but I can not hear a thing. I walk up to the stage to accept my degree. The principal hands it too me but neglects to shake my hand. I look at the ground as I pass by. I look back up at the crowd. I have not gone deaf. The roar of applause and praise has subsided to glare and disregard.

I knew it was going to be like this. As I start back towards my seat someone yells something but I choose not to listen. I walk past the row where I am supposed to be sitting. I look to my left at the two empty seats my parents chose not to accept. I throw my cap on the ground and leave the field. That day I got in my car, drove to the interstate and never looked back.

Unique New York

Leaving class he had a look of question in his eyes. When asked to write this essay by his professor he wasn't quite sure what to expect. He wasn't concerned about his grade, not the opinions of people who may read the paper besides the teacher. It was a real question that he never really has asked himself. Have I ever given up on something special ?

The streets of New York City are baron this time of year, especially this time of night. Cold and lonely he walks down the street. Night classes were literal in the sense that they started at 9 p.m and often ran into the next day. The class summarized as 2 hours of actual lectures, and 2 hours of digression. This didn't bother him, as he respected his teacher enough to listen to his off-topic rants. However, tonight all he could think about was the question.

That night as he sat at his armoire, 2 a.m, 3 a.m..... "Have I ever given up on someone special?" He thinks to himself. He goes back in time. Friends he never talks to anymore, like Kyle and Dan. The comradary they shared in college has never been replaced. Past lovers cross his mind but he always gave them a chance to be the one. One girl did stand out although it was just a couple of days that they were together. Nothing ever happened, he felt the fire, but she put out the flames before they got any higher. He remembers her name, and everything she confided in him. All he could think about was how artistic she was, and the fact that up against any other girl she was never the lesser. How his lips wanted only hers. Ancient history.

Microsoft word was up and running on his computer. The vertical line blinking off and on with nothing preceding it. He thinks about a teacher he had at his previous school who sparked his interest on sociology. He never knew how interested he was in people and why we act the way we do. He misses the teacher as he does many.

Just like fire spreads through a California forest in the summer, the rush of words and experiences flow onto the screen, and before he knows it. His life with, his experiences with the people that he has forgotten has amounted into a 6 1/2 page essay of regret.

He prints two copies. One for his teacher and one for himself...

A reminder that you must keep the influences of your life as close to your heart as possible and although someone unique may not be in your life anymore it is never to late to pick up the phone....

The Ocean

He walks out onto the beach, it's late at night and nobody knows where he is. He comes here when he is sad, he comes here when he is lost. This is the only place he knows.

A fragmented heart can never be healed by the person who owns it. Only the person that has overdrawn it or someone who has the ability to do so. This night at the ocean he is not in search of a remedy, only the cure.

As his bloodshot eyes watch the waves come in. Wave, approach, crash, retreat. He sees the ocean as a allegoric nirvana. It's a dark indefinite entity with countless shining opportunities but only if there is light to shine on them. Sometimes he feels like he can reach out and grab one of theses diamonds off the surface, Sometimes.

He sits down and feels the wind blow through his hair. A deep breath and a dell of thoughts. For a moment he is at peace. But just like the uniformity of the waves. the memories are endless.

There a man sits on the sand, broken hearted and full of contemplation. He thinks he can grab diamonds from the ocean. Sometimes....

Tonight is one of those nights.

He walks into the water only up to his neck, because he knows he is already in over his head. He looks aimlessly into the abyss and for awhile he sees nothing sparkling. The moon is as bright as ever, but there is nothing to be seen. Finally he turns to vainly walk out, but there behind him was one glimmering hope. It has found him.

This night at the ocean, he is not in search of a remedy, only the cure. He did not find anything, something found him. The essence of the moment brings back the person he once was.

"I can't wait till I see you again..."

Ruler of Life

Every morning you awake
I'm the first thing on your mind
Before you fall asleep
You give me one last thought

You go to work
I am in your papers
On your lunch break
Your time is spent on your meal
and what next you will do with me

Family get togethers
are now interrupted
with arguments between loved ones
all because of me

Friday nights with friends
Have become half-hearted attempts
to focus your mind elsewhere
So now you sit at home by your self
Unable to enjoy whats outside
Hating everything within

I am the money in your wallet, the suit you wear to work, the broken down engine in your car, the parent that always yells, the child that never listens, the loved one who is no longer around, the hated one that won't go away, the sickness in your body, the man or woman in your heart.

Don't let me control you anymore.

The Painting

He stands up the easel and lifts up a fresh canvas. He sees the picture, the woman he always sees when he closes his eyes. If it weren't for the possible color discrepancies he could paint the image blindfolded.

First he paints the outline of her face, with every stroke is another quality that he has never seen nor anyone else has. With every passing moment his eyes sink deeper into his work. He is no longer holding the brush, it is holding him.

Next in the painting is her figure, he sees it so vividly in his mind. Her body is flawless in his eyes. When she is around, his eyes never stray. With every swipe is another mark of perfection.... This is his painting, he sees it as just that.

Now that the outlines and not so basic features of her has been laid out, he begins to add her color. He may be painting between the lines but in his mind this is no longer a painting.

He is slowing shaping her personality, as he paints her smile.

He adds her intellect as he sculpts the expression on her face.

Finally the love she has for him, with the way he has her eyes staring right back at him.

After hours of painting that seemed graceful and intricate at the same time, he is finished. She's beautiful. This is a piece of art that will hang on his wall for a very long time...

A year goes by and there the painting stands. He keeps it in his room but since he keeps his windows open at night. It has become jaded from the weather outside of their existence.

Afraid to lose the ambiance of the painting he always touches it up when it seems to be compromised. Without knowing it however, he subtly changes each feature trying to keep it the same.

Some time passes and after all minor rectifications the painting is no longer what it used to be. The smile with the temperament may not be the same. The figure that seemed so perfect before is no more than ordinary.

None of this bothers him because the eyes of the painting still look at him the same way. Through all this time and aging, that's all that matters.

One morning he awakes.

Walking by that painting he has held so dear for so long. He notices the eyes have finally faded. With tears in his eyes and a brush in hand, he takes a few strokes and covers the eyes.

With the best intentions, he has covered or replaced every blemish that seemed to be perfect before. Her personality has faded over time, so he would fruitlessly try to replicate the colors. The painting is no longer what it was.

Now broken hearted he stares at what his painting has become.

He doesn't want to believe it, but his work of art has now once again become an empty canvas...

Start Living and Forget

Found this poem I wrote long time ago in my folder of endless writings... figured it could be shared.

You thought you had let go
were you just ignoring the hole
in your heart that I had created
you have been replaced
and I never cared
that you have been erased
from the mind that you had once overrun
its hard to face the darker days
when someone I have stolen your sun
I'll just let you sleep
let you sleep in this endless pain
let the agony coarse through your veins
should you try to cut it out
or maybe just wait it out
close the shades on your despair
till you can wander through your mind
and never find me there
never find me there
the anxiety is starting to rule your life
slipknot around the chest
stealing the life stealing the breathe
I'm pulling on the other end
you can no longer enjoy family
and lost all of your friends
close the cover on your life
the last page has been read
I'll just let you sleep
let you sleep in this endless pain
let the agony coarse through your veins
should you try to cut it out
or maybe just wait it out
close the shades on your despair
till you can wander through your mind
and never find me there
never find me there

I am the one you'll never forget...

Moment of the Weak

Why as a society are we inclined to sugarcoat everything that isn't sweet. No one wants to hear bad news, so many people either fabricate the truth or never say it in fear of hurting someone's feelings.

It could either be that you don't want to hurt someone's feelings, or you just don't want someone to dislike you for being the bearer of facts. It's a lose-lose anyway you look at it... Or is it?

If people stopped withholding or manipulating the truth the world would be a much better place. Think about it, Let's say something is going on between you and another person and you don't know quite how to say it. Rather than being silent, just voice your mind. They may be more understanding than you think. Honesty very far, you may lose a little in the friendship but it is far outweighed by the respect you may gain.

There is no need to protect anyone from anything anymore. The world is changing, bad things happen everyday and the days of fairytales are far over. Whether you and someone else are in different pages of a novel, or your paperback is coming to an end. You have to close the book on the situation eventually. Why not do it the right way?

You have far more to gain with the truth, than you do without it.

The Dark Side of You is the Brightest Side of Me

Many people have compared loneliness to being lost in the dark, waiting for someone to light up their day and give them a way out. Sometimes people are lost in the dark even when there is someone there to show them the way. It's not that they don't want to leave the darkness. It's the fact they are not sure where they're going, and anything that is not darkness is something new, different, maybe even terrifying.

The best advice I could give to someone is to pay attention more to the words that the body speaks rather than the lips that actually speak them. There is a real connection between loneliness and darkness, happiness and brightness. If you see someone for the first time or for the 1000th time, I think it means something when they are still excited to see you. Look at their body and facial expressions. Ever heard of someone just lighting up at a certain moment?

The expressions may be different depending on how well you know the person, and the history between the two of you. A second of eye contact, a smile, or even a glare can all mean the same thing. You be the judge of what it means to you and your relationship with that person.

I'm going to end with a few questions as I often do...

Is there someone in your life that lights up at just the sight of you? Talking to you? Do they make you feel the same way?

Theft Recovery

If you give me love, I will accept it.
Only If I have love to give you and it is equally as passionate.

I will give you the time and affection you need to be more than happy.
As long as you show me the same appreciation.

You can make decisions for the both of us.As long as I can have some input.
What ever you give meI will return... because I love you.

After some time if you have lost interest
If you have stopped caring about my opinions and how I feel.
Have taken my heart and watched its beat come to a halt in your hands.
In this case I will not do the same, because I don't hate you.
I am not you, and you are not me.
After you I have not been the same, but I remember who I was.
Someone will come along and bring that person back.
I know I don't need you. Do you really feel the same?

This is my conclusion, it is from my own mind and it screams:

"Just because you stole who I was, Doesn't mean I need you to get myself back!"

Untitled

I walk into the house. This particular evening feels different. "Something good is in my future" I think to myself. I grab a beer and I begin to do my normal socializing. I say hello to a few friends and acquaintances, Crack a few jokes, some are a hit, others are just plain bad, but people still laugh on account of the intoxication. I look over at the big tub of jungle juice that someone prepared for the nights festivities. " I’d grab a cup, but I don’t want to get too stupid tonight" I say to myself. Tonight is going to be a great night.

12 o’clock has hit and everyone has celebrated. I kissed a girl for the sake of the event but it was nothing to be excited about. An hour passes and many of the party-goers have sifted out to begin the start of a new time. A few stragglers have stayed behind, and then... my beginning.

We have all sit down to play some drinking games, some of them legit but others were not well planned but we drank like rock stars anyways. I feel a grasp on my arm. I turn my head to her, " What’s your name?" I say. You tell me your name and I’m consumed with a feeling I have never felt before. "What beauty" I think to myself. The night rolls on and I keep the conversations rolling in fear of your losing interest, however I think you were just as worried as I that the encounter would end prematurely.

Later on in the evening we have left and ventured off on our own endeavors. Made a few stops at a few other sites of engagement, a few cocktails to celebrate a new beginning. A new beginning indeed. After that I cannot recall much but one memory. "You’re the most beautiful person" I said as I looked into your eyes. You blushed and didn’t say anything back but I knew you felt the same...

Months have passed and we have seen each other here and there, but the fire that burns inside has only intensified to the point that I can barely think about what to say to you next. This feeling will never fade, it will never leave. " You’re beautiful" I repeat over and over again. I think that I may be saying it too much but I can still feel your smile and humility. I may stop saying it as much, but I will never stop feeling the same. You told me how you loved me. I’ll never forget the tears that fell from my eyes, and the way you wiped them away.

A year has passed and with every mountain we have climbed, we have descended into a valley. Still my love has never changed in elevation, but you and your character have followed the terrain with every step. I do everything I can to make it right. However, sometimes to make things right is the wrong thing to do. "You’re beautiful" I tell you. A hollow smile I get in return.Two years have passed and we have separated and comptemplated being together again. It’s different now. I remember what happened and what was never done to fix it. I worked so hard for so long only to be given up for the most inane reason. I stare at you with tired bloodshot eyes. "I need you, I love you" you said...

This day the tears fall from my eyes, they are not the same. They are because I’ve lost you, and you cannot wipe them away.

3am Blog Story: The Bulb, the Lamp and the Electricity

I was just laying in bed wide-eyed as usual and an idea for a story of symbolism began to take shape, so ill write it out real quick and try to go get some sleep. Here it goes...

I open up the door to my apartment and not a second too soon. It was raining out as usual. I was soaked from head to toe. Walking over to the counter I sling my bag from Target onto the surface, go to my room and throw on my PJ’s. As I return to the bag I open it and pull out some "new" GE bulb for my lamp. It’s a new apartment so I’m always finding new things for it and replacing some older unused objects that are no longer to my liking.

I thought in my head "Wow, I haven’t even thought about using this lamp in awhile." So after buying the bulb on an impulse figuring I would need/want it, I finally screwed it into place. The room lit up like the fourth of July. If you are anything like me, you would appreciate the ambiance of such a beautiful sight. Plus, It’s a GE, it should last forever right?

About 9 months go by and that bulb is still shining strong, providing me with enough light to guide me through my home and help me get things done. But one day while I was cleaning I knocked it off it’s stand. The force of it falling even pulled the plug out of the wall. For a while I couldn’t see but eventually I plugged it back in but never turned on the light in fear that it might start a fire.

A couple months went by and I finally turned on the light. It lit the room but was a little dimmer, I could tell the bulb was a bit cloudy, but decided it was enough to get the job done. I went through the next few months, going about the day with enough light, slowly recognizing that the light was getting dimmer and dimmer with every passing look. Till finally, one day, the light went out.

My apartment was pretty well lit from the street lights, so I decided just to leave the light off, I even unplugged the lamp. There’s no point having the lamp plugged in if the bulb doesn’t work. Next the electric was shut off because I decided it wasn’t worth paying.

Months later, I decided it was time to have light in my humble abode again. So first, I plugged in the lamp and got a fresh bulb. One click...nothing. Two Click... nothing. "What the hell?" I thought to myself. " I have the bulb, I have the lamp, What am I missing?" quickly I realized that there was no electricity going into the lamp let alone the bulb. So I got pissed off and knocked the lamp off the stand, this time on purpose and broke the bulb along with 3 more in the case next to it. It’s alright though, when I went to target this last time I just grabbed 4 generic bulbs because the GE didn’t get very far anyways.

About a week ago, my electric was turned back on... I finally decided to pay my bill. I’ve plugged in the lamp but still have not obtained a bulb for it yet. "I’m doing just fine with the light from outside" I think to myself, hiding the fact that I cannot see anything I’m doing. Denial is such a beautiful thing.

I woke up this sunday morning, and it was pretty dark outside. Overcast with a chance of showers is what I predicted. That asshole Tom Messner, the channel 5 weather man seemed to think the same as well. With the day off I figured I’d go to Glens Falls and do some shopping. I park in the Target parking lot and head into the mall to blow my money on meaningless things.

As I walk back into target I figured I’d grab a cart and pick up some neccesities. Aisle by aisle I go up and down picking up everything I "need", at one point I actually do the shopping cart dance move as I’m grabbing my merch. I felt really good for some reason, It’s been awhile since I felt this way.

Finally I come to the last aisle and I see some hard goods, nothing I can eat or wear. Then I see them. Light bulbs. I’ve walked by them for the past few months never thinking I wanted any but today seemed to be different. So I begin looking up and down and finally I see a "new" GE bulb. I sit there for a second and I think to myself "I have electricity again, The lamp is plugged in, I want a bulb..."

I walk outside and to my surprise the clouds have opened up enough to rain some sunshine on the day.

Sigh-lence

What makes us more saddened, someone who screams their disapproval at us or the ones who never say anything at all, nothing?

You may call it the silent treatment, I call it poison. It gets introduced to your system, courses through your veins. It slowly reeks havoc among your mind and body, until eventually you’re the hollow lifeless shell of what you once were.

It’s a hard thing to swallow at first, usually it’s someone who doesn’t speak to you. The silence hurts like a dagger, but almost anyone can recover from a knife wound. But could you handle a firing squad? Many people at once who decide that you are not worth talking to?

We’ve all had those days where we just wanted someone, anyone to talk to, but they don’t have the time, they don’t answer, you get their voicemail, or worst of all... the dreaded 2 ring to voicemail, someone hit the ignore button...

So what are we to do when we’ve been cast out by our peers with only our thoughts to keep us company? The one thing we can do, work through it. You can keep trying to talk to the same people, speaking the most beautiful of words to them, but they’ll only fall on deaf ears.

When it comes down to it, you are not something that shall go to waste. Your words will be heard, your love will be given. Speak to ears that will listen, and hearts that will care. You owe it to yourself.

My New House

I’ve decided it’s time for a change, So I went out and rented a house today. I brought all my stuff there, it’s a real nice place and everything is just the way I want it. There’s only one problem. The landlord didnt tell me that I would have a roommate.

Every time I’m home, He is home. Every time I leave, he follows. I can’t even look him in the eye, he is the exact opposite of everything I am, Everything I stand for. I wish he would just leave me alone, but I’m stuck with him. He better change soon or I don’t know what I’ll do.

Now that a couple months have passed, I figured by now it would be different. I thought that I would be able to live with this person or they would change and everything would be alright. Well nothing has changed, It even makes me sick the way he stares me down, judging and critiqueing everything I do. I can’t deal with this much longer. I need a change...

I guess it was a bad idea to live in a house of mirrors...

2am and it hit me: The value of a "Yes"

I’m really tired so I’m going to make this quick.

I was just in bed and as I lied there staring at my ceiling as I often do, thinking about what I’m going to do next. What I have to do, to get what I am after. I’m going over every angle in my head. Should I do this? or this? So like always I go to the past, because after all, we must learn from our experiences to establish a sense of truth in our endeavors.

Without experience something "new" can turn out to be anything. If you are going to a unknown location at the other end of the city, wouldn’t it be nice to at least traveled half way there?

So anyways back to the story, Like anything that’s ever been created, a product, a person, a moment, even a kiss, the rarity and/or substance of it increases it’s value or worth to us as humans. Whether it’s sentimental or not, the first, few, or last of something will always mean more.

Sometimes you must work for it. "staying up til 2 or 3am thinking about what the best move is." And maybe sometimes it’s as simple as asking and getting the easy "yes". That last sentence was the "punch line".

The easy yes is positive, don’t get me wrong... but wouldn’t it be more valuable if you had to work for it. If it’s easy to obtain then it’s not that rare or valuable... is it?I really don’t know if this is making sense or not, I’m really just sleep blogging. So I’m going back to bed, look at my white ceiling, as if it were a dry-erase board ( hopefully my markers aren’t dried out ) and come up with a game plan, because the way it’s looking, this is a "Yes" I want and I’m going for it...

From the sleep deprived mind of Steven

The Last Rope

There are people who work for what they have, people who already have it, then there are treasure hunters. These treasure hunters operate on nothing but the belief of riches buried far beneath the surface.

This one treasure hunter one day believed that if she dug far enough in the place she just found, she would eventually find what she was looking for. So she began to dig, everyone that knew her were supportive at first. Some helping her dig, others holding on to ropes for her to climb out when she either found what she was looking for or decided this wasnt where she was going to find her treasure.

After a few days a couple people stopped digging, and climbed out. But she was still sure that the treasure was here.

Weeks later, everyone has climbed out but her. Still they are holding ropes for her to climb out, none of them believing in her, but they’re still supportive.

Months past, some of the ropes are gone. Most of her friends and family are gone, except the ones that really love her. The ropes are beginning to run out. She won’t come up, despite the pleas of everyone. She runs on belief rather than logic.

A year later, a dead end. She has dug all the way to a mass in the earth in which cannot be dug into. There is one rope left, one person who cares enough after all this time has stayed to be the one to bring her back to the world. With tears in her eyes, she pulls out her favorite lighter and puts it to the rope. It burns all the way to the top, and it lights up the face of the one who waited. The look of anguish on their face was only seen for a second, but it will be remembered forever. It was her last way out and she literally let it go up in flames.

After some time, the shovel is dull. Her strength is spent, and worst of all... the ropes are gone. She’s realized that this hole, the one she dug. Is the hole she will have to live in the rest of her life.

"Sorry the forgivness is sold out"

"I’m sorry I did it, but they did this and I guess it really started because of them"

Ever found that asking for forgiveness is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do? Doesn’t it help if you justify your mistake by selling out another person? It’s happened all too many times. Why carry two boxes of guilt through the front door when you can give someone else one of the boxes and send them through first? The story of your error is still written on your face, but you are now sharing the spotlight. That spotlight also burns very hot when you’re performing for the crowd of judgement bestowed upon you.

When it comes to asking for forgiveness, you need only a mirror to blame who is accountable. Step up, say " I’m sorry for what "I" did " and accept the aftermath.

"The strength and conviction expressed in your apology will always go a long way in the eyes and ears you’re speaking to"

It WAS a thin line

"You’ve crossed the line, Bucko!"

Ever said that before? Me neither. Ever noticed that we’ve all put down a line at one point or the other. Whether it’s someone talking about your family or friend. Maybe even a particular action they took that was uncouth to you. Did you do something about it? Let’s hope so.Sometimes we forget what we are all really about, you take a firm stance on your beliefs, but forget you are on ice. A gust of wind could influence you in a different direction if it chooses to, all the while you remain motionless. So did you move or were you moved? Or was it your best interest just to be standing?

When you find yourself in a different place than where you started it should raise an alarm. There’s a storm coming, go to higher ground put all of it out there. What you want, what you need. YOUR values and beliefs. Set it in stone and do not waver.

We are all typically motionless in our own world, one spot where our spirits stand. People come in and out of our lifes like clockwork. They walk past you, bump into you, and occasionally stand with you. So with all these people rushing past you, is your line made out of chalk? Easily displaced from it’s origin, smeared and widened with every passing person. Or is it a clear line that does not, and will not be altered?

Interpret my perception? Perceive my Interpretation?

You get what I’m saying?... I don’t. Do you?

Have you ever perceived a situation or entity to being something it’s not or see something that is not there or a different translation? I have, everybody does. Example: John will say Banana, you may say fruit, I’ll say delicious, Hank will say a pleasant source of potassium, and DOLE will say cha-ching! Mmm. We now live in a society where words are now interpreted by the ears that hear them, rather than the words that define them. What’s even more interesting is that sentences, paragraphs, and even stories are the same way. Ever stop to think that two people reading the same book, heard two different stories? Remember 5th grade when y’all had to talk about a book that everyone read. Thirty 5th grade imaginations trying to decipher a book, I wonder what the teachers thought?

Fiction is always left to interpretation. Truth however cannot be perceived without some sort of Fiction being the result.

So what happens when someones perception of the truth creates a fiction? Could be better or worse than the actual fact. It doesn’t seem that important but lives are changed because of this! Go back to a crossroad in your life where you had to make a decision based on information put in front of you. Were you right? Did you see it for what it was or for what it appeared through your "own" eyes to be?

Event: a murder
Fact A: X stabbed Y with a knife.
Fact B: Y died of blood-loss.

2 statements, both facts. Equally gruesome, I apologize for that. Where am I going with this? What if you were only presented with one fact or the other? When presented with Fact A, one might ask if Y is ohk or did this poor letter die. Now Fact B, on the other hand says that Y died of blood-loss. One might ask how did Y lose blood, Did "X" or "Z" kill Y. Get where I’m going now? Look down, XYZ

Whether that helped or not it is important to remember to let certain things be left to interpretation, like stories and my occasional rants. But truth...it is what it is.

Truth is real, it is weighted by Facts. Perception is....well, I’ll leave that up into your interpretation.

I'm from Black Hole, How about you?

Are you getting sucked in?

You ever go on vacation and towards the end of the trip, you almost want to go back "home". Ever move away only to come home at the first chance you get? Oh yeah! Whether it’s a big city with plenty of opportunity and great friends or a small tired town with no chance to do something extraordinary, where you’re deadbeat alchoholic stoner friends like to drag you down, we can’t help but say " Home Sweet Home".

Why is it that the places we come from have a stronger gravitational pull than the planet we live on. At "home", you can jump and immediatly fall straight down; Go to Los Angeles and jump up and you fall down but drift slightly eastward.

Whether it’s Betty Sue, the girl you’ve liked since the 8th grade or the comfort of you’re parents being in throwing distance, their is always a certain comfort level that comes with "home". But what happens when that girl you’ve wanted to be with for what seems like your whole life, has a kid and/or is married? What happens when the house you grew up in is tainted by the loss of a parent to tragedy or family troubles have arose, is it no longer feeling like your "home"?

What keeps us here? Compromise, Failure, Fear, Jaded? Let’s write ’em on paper and we’ll all pick the feelings out of a hat. We can put Compromise in there 10 times, as opposed to the others only once. Values mean nothing when you compromise. Love means nothing when you compromise. Happiness means nothing... when you compromise. Does anything personal to me really matter if it’s altered for the sake of convenience? Am I impeding the growth in my Career or settling on my Love Life for the feeling of being "Home"? These are questions that we ask ourselves every day.

However, sometimes homelife is great and you’re the guy that put a ring on Betty Sue’s finger and you are the perfect ending to the story. But if you’re on the other side of the rainbow and everything is not "happily ever after" It is good to know that there are other places and other people....

So...Dorothy? (Yeah, I’m calling you that character played by Judy Garland in Wizard of Oz!) the next time you find yourself in Emerald City with those ruby slippers, will you click your heels?