3am Blog Story: The Bulb, the Lamp and the Electricity

I was just laying in bed wide-eyed as usual and an idea for a story of symbolism began to take shape, so ill write it out real quick and try to go get some sleep. Here it goes...

I open up the door to my apartment and not a second too soon. It was raining out as usual. I was soaked from head to toe. Walking over to the counter I sling my bag from Target onto the surface, go to my room and throw on my PJ’s. As I return to the bag I open it and pull out some "new" GE bulb for my lamp. It’s a new apartment so I’m always finding new things for it and replacing some older unused objects that are no longer to my liking.

I thought in my head "Wow, I haven’t even thought about using this lamp in awhile." So after buying the bulb on an impulse figuring I would need/want it, I finally screwed it into place. The room lit up like the fourth of July. If you are anything like me, you would appreciate the ambiance of such a beautiful sight. Plus, It’s a GE, it should last forever right?

About 9 months go by and that bulb is still shining strong, providing me with enough light to guide me through my home and help me get things done. But one day while I was cleaning I knocked it off it’s stand. The force of it falling even pulled the plug out of the wall. For a while I couldn’t see but eventually I plugged it back in but never turned on the light in fear that it might start a fire.

A couple months went by and I finally turned on the light. It lit the room but was a little dimmer, I could tell the bulb was a bit cloudy, but decided it was enough to get the job done. I went through the next few months, going about the day with enough light, slowly recognizing that the light was getting dimmer and dimmer with every passing look. Till finally, one day, the light went out.

My apartment was pretty well lit from the street lights, so I decided just to leave the light off, I even unplugged the lamp. There’s no point having the lamp plugged in if the bulb doesn’t work. Next the electric was shut off because I decided it wasn’t worth paying.

Months later, I decided it was time to have light in my humble abode again. So first, I plugged in the lamp and got a fresh bulb. One click...nothing. Two Click... nothing. "What the hell?" I thought to myself. " I have the bulb, I have the lamp, What am I missing?" quickly I realized that there was no electricity going into the lamp let alone the bulb. So I got pissed off and knocked the lamp off the stand, this time on purpose and broke the bulb along with 3 more in the case next to it. It’s alright though, when I went to target this last time I just grabbed 4 generic bulbs because the GE didn’t get very far anyways.

About a week ago, my electric was turned back on... I finally decided to pay my bill. I’ve plugged in the lamp but still have not obtained a bulb for it yet. "I’m doing just fine with the light from outside" I think to myself, hiding the fact that I cannot see anything I’m doing. Denial is such a beautiful thing.

I woke up this sunday morning, and it was pretty dark outside. Overcast with a chance of showers is what I predicted. That asshole Tom Messner, the channel 5 weather man seemed to think the same as well. With the day off I figured I’d go to Glens Falls and do some shopping. I park in the Target parking lot and head into the mall to blow my money on meaningless things.

As I walk back into target I figured I’d grab a cart and pick up some neccesities. Aisle by aisle I go up and down picking up everything I "need", at one point I actually do the shopping cart dance move as I’m grabbing my merch. I felt really good for some reason, It’s been awhile since I felt this way.

Finally I come to the last aisle and I see some hard goods, nothing I can eat or wear. Then I see them. Light bulbs. I’ve walked by them for the past few months never thinking I wanted any but today seemed to be different. So I begin looking up and down and finally I see a "new" GE bulb. I sit there for a second and I think to myself "I have electricity again, The lamp is plugged in, I want a bulb..."

I walk outside and to my surprise the clouds have opened up enough to rain some sunshine on the day.

Sigh-lence

What makes us more saddened, someone who screams their disapproval at us or the ones who never say anything at all, nothing?

You may call it the silent treatment, I call it poison. It gets introduced to your system, courses through your veins. It slowly reeks havoc among your mind and body, until eventually you’re the hollow lifeless shell of what you once were.

It’s a hard thing to swallow at first, usually it’s someone who doesn’t speak to you. The silence hurts like a dagger, but almost anyone can recover from a knife wound. But could you handle a firing squad? Many people at once who decide that you are not worth talking to?

We’ve all had those days where we just wanted someone, anyone to talk to, but they don’t have the time, they don’t answer, you get their voicemail, or worst of all... the dreaded 2 ring to voicemail, someone hit the ignore button...

So what are we to do when we’ve been cast out by our peers with only our thoughts to keep us company? The one thing we can do, work through it. You can keep trying to talk to the same people, speaking the most beautiful of words to them, but they’ll only fall on deaf ears.

When it comes down to it, you are not something that shall go to waste. Your words will be heard, your love will be given. Speak to ears that will listen, and hearts that will care. You owe it to yourself.

My New House

I’ve decided it’s time for a change, So I went out and rented a house today. I brought all my stuff there, it’s a real nice place and everything is just the way I want it. There’s only one problem. The landlord didnt tell me that I would have a roommate.

Every time I’m home, He is home. Every time I leave, he follows. I can’t even look him in the eye, he is the exact opposite of everything I am, Everything I stand for. I wish he would just leave me alone, but I’m stuck with him. He better change soon or I don’t know what I’ll do.

Now that a couple months have passed, I figured by now it would be different. I thought that I would be able to live with this person or they would change and everything would be alright. Well nothing has changed, It even makes me sick the way he stares me down, judging and critiqueing everything I do. I can’t deal with this much longer. I need a change...

I guess it was a bad idea to live in a house of mirrors...

2am and it hit me: The value of a "Yes"

I’m really tired so I’m going to make this quick.

I was just in bed and as I lied there staring at my ceiling as I often do, thinking about what I’m going to do next. What I have to do, to get what I am after. I’m going over every angle in my head. Should I do this? or this? So like always I go to the past, because after all, we must learn from our experiences to establish a sense of truth in our endeavors.

Without experience something "new" can turn out to be anything. If you are going to a unknown location at the other end of the city, wouldn’t it be nice to at least traveled half way there?

So anyways back to the story, Like anything that’s ever been created, a product, a person, a moment, even a kiss, the rarity and/or substance of it increases it’s value or worth to us as humans. Whether it’s sentimental or not, the first, few, or last of something will always mean more.

Sometimes you must work for it. "staying up til 2 or 3am thinking about what the best move is." And maybe sometimes it’s as simple as asking and getting the easy "yes". That last sentence was the "punch line".

The easy yes is positive, don’t get me wrong... but wouldn’t it be more valuable if you had to work for it. If it’s easy to obtain then it’s not that rare or valuable... is it?I really don’t know if this is making sense or not, I’m really just sleep blogging. So I’m going back to bed, look at my white ceiling, as if it were a dry-erase board ( hopefully my markers aren’t dried out ) and come up with a game plan, because the way it’s looking, this is a "Yes" I want and I’m going for it...

From the sleep deprived mind of Steven

The Last Rope

There are people who work for what they have, people who already have it, then there are treasure hunters. These treasure hunters operate on nothing but the belief of riches buried far beneath the surface.

This one treasure hunter one day believed that if she dug far enough in the place she just found, she would eventually find what she was looking for. So she began to dig, everyone that knew her were supportive at first. Some helping her dig, others holding on to ropes for her to climb out when she either found what she was looking for or decided this wasnt where she was going to find her treasure.

After a few days a couple people stopped digging, and climbed out. But she was still sure that the treasure was here.

Weeks later, everyone has climbed out but her. Still they are holding ropes for her to climb out, none of them believing in her, but they’re still supportive.

Months past, some of the ropes are gone. Most of her friends and family are gone, except the ones that really love her. The ropes are beginning to run out. She won’t come up, despite the pleas of everyone. She runs on belief rather than logic.

A year later, a dead end. She has dug all the way to a mass in the earth in which cannot be dug into. There is one rope left, one person who cares enough after all this time has stayed to be the one to bring her back to the world. With tears in her eyes, she pulls out her favorite lighter and puts it to the rope. It burns all the way to the top, and it lights up the face of the one who waited. The look of anguish on their face was only seen for a second, but it will be remembered forever. It was her last way out and she literally let it go up in flames.

After some time, the shovel is dull. Her strength is spent, and worst of all... the ropes are gone. She’s realized that this hole, the one she dug. Is the hole she will have to live in the rest of her life.

"Sorry the forgivness is sold out"

"I’m sorry I did it, but they did this and I guess it really started because of them"

Ever found that asking for forgiveness is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do? Doesn’t it help if you justify your mistake by selling out another person? It’s happened all too many times. Why carry two boxes of guilt through the front door when you can give someone else one of the boxes and send them through first? The story of your error is still written on your face, but you are now sharing the spotlight. That spotlight also burns very hot when you’re performing for the crowd of judgement bestowed upon you.

When it comes to asking for forgiveness, you need only a mirror to blame who is accountable. Step up, say " I’m sorry for what "I" did " and accept the aftermath.

"The strength and conviction expressed in your apology will always go a long way in the eyes and ears you’re speaking to"

It WAS a thin line

"You’ve crossed the line, Bucko!"

Ever said that before? Me neither. Ever noticed that we’ve all put down a line at one point or the other. Whether it’s someone talking about your family or friend. Maybe even a particular action they took that was uncouth to you. Did you do something about it? Let’s hope so.Sometimes we forget what we are all really about, you take a firm stance on your beliefs, but forget you are on ice. A gust of wind could influence you in a different direction if it chooses to, all the while you remain motionless. So did you move or were you moved? Or was it your best interest just to be standing?

When you find yourself in a different place than where you started it should raise an alarm. There’s a storm coming, go to higher ground put all of it out there. What you want, what you need. YOUR values and beliefs. Set it in stone and do not waver.

We are all typically motionless in our own world, one spot where our spirits stand. People come in and out of our lifes like clockwork. They walk past you, bump into you, and occasionally stand with you. So with all these people rushing past you, is your line made out of chalk? Easily displaced from it’s origin, smeared and widened with every passing person. Or is it a clear line that does not, and will not be altered?