I will miss you

I got your package today. It's the first time I have cried since I made the decision. Whether It was the right decision or not.... I don't know. I have never faced a question so hard to answer. The reason I did this was because the question presented itself, that's reason alone. It will hang on my shoulders for a long time. I have never been treated so well in my life as you treated me. I never deserved it. I never will. I always said I would do my best to make you happy, at the time I thought this was true. I was just lying to myself, and soon to figure out, I was lying to you too. I never did try hard enough did I? Maybe 90% of the time. I made sure it was my job to keep you smiling. I lived to see you smile, but the pain of seeing you in tears was too much for me to handle. I had seen it too much to go on. You are one of the most beautiful people I know and I do care about you, It hurt me so much to do what I did. But I can never be with you. I look into the future and the pieces just don't fit. Sometimes I wish all the pain you have experienced on account of me could be transferred to my mind, So i could deal with what I have done and you could be happy again. People like me are never happy anyways, and you deserve all the greatest things. I know you hate me, and I understand. Just know that I hope you get everything you want out of life and you get to the places you want to go...... It is hard looking at a computer screen with my eyes clouded with tears. You are beautiful, you are amazing, you are funny, you are a great person. Don't ever think otherwise. I've seen it first hand. I'm just not man enough to appreciate it. I'm sorry

I will miss you